(Even though this picture below is of Asher crying I feel like it shows motherhood ... and how it is always lovely even when there are tears)
I've been thinking about so much lately.
This pregnancy has been super hard for me emotionally. (and physically... hello pressure) ;)
I guess in some ways I have always struggled with a bit of anxiety, worry, fear... but during this pregnancy that surely has been heightened. Hormones are such a joy am I right?
I found myself asking God in prayer for help. Help with patience. With love. With being slow to anger.
Then I realized something that made me more sad than anything... most of my prayers are when I need something. I know I know that is how it is sometimes... in desperation its good to cling to the Lord, and I understand that BUT I realized I was constantly trying to fit God into my circle of Life... when in reality I needed to step into His.
You see... I don't want to be a luke warm Christian. I really don't.
More and more I look around the world and just know persecution for Christians in America is coming and it is going to be real and harsh, and either you can make the choice to really stand in the word of God, or just take the easy way out. I want to be a good example to my boys. I want to be a mother and wife who shows the love of Christ in her work.
And my work is running my house, cooking, cleaning, loving, disciplining, teaching, worshiping.
Its being a wife and a mother. A sister, daughter and a friend.
I think overall I am just realizing that I have to be intentional in all things.
I need to read my bible... why? because I am always more kind, and patient when I do. And revelation is needed always.
I need to hang out with friends... why? because it soothes my soul.
I need to unplug from technology for bits of the day... why? because it connects me to the roots of simplicity.
I need to be in constant prayer... why? because then I can not only ask the Lord for help , but thank Him and give Him praise constantly too.
There is no magic recipe to be a great Christian.
I think mostly you just have to be humble, and constantly go back to Christ with true love and desire in your heart. And when you feel like you don't have that... pray for it.
During this pregnancy as my body feels more and more difficult to manage and my emotions are hard to control I feel blessed to have Him teaching me, and preparing me.
Asher is going to be 2 and 1/2 soon (in november) and with Lincoln on the way I feel more of an urgency than ever... to set my eyes on above and have them be fixed no matter who or what tries to draw them away.
I am His. I need to remember that in every moment.
Sidenote both bags are still for sale below. Best offers!