March 4, 2011


So I've been thinking a lot about marriage. Let me start off by saying being married to my Jasha is the best thing ever. No doubt.
All the same, I wanted to address some things here about about it.... specifically mine.

I feel as if I have if I may be a hinderance or a stumbling stone to some of my sisters in Christ &
here is why: I know a lot of girls struggle with seeing marriage as an idol. I know I did before I was married. I thought marriage would be the thing in life that would make everything perfect...that I would be complete & life would be beautiful. In a way these things are true, but in another  way they are not. 

On this blog I tend to post a lot about the great things in my life, but not so much about the trials. Well one thing I can tell you for sure is 
marriage is hard.
It does not complete you, or your life. 
& No matter how amazing your husband is (and mine is pretty darn amazing) he will make mistakes...
& hurt your heart. And you will make mistakes, and hurt his heart.
It's life.
It is NOT perfect. 

Within us all are deep and sometimes dark things that marriage will drag out and bring into the light and as a couple you must deal with them... no matter how much it hurts.
It's a blessing...That is for sure. You grow, and hopefully fall more in love.
And its worth it, at least in my opinion, but these trials can literally be the hardest seasons in life you have yet to deal with.
I know they were for me.

So I urge the single ladies out there to bear patience and wait for their husbands...because your single years are a true blessing. And I'm not just saying that.

(Me in my single years... Maybe 17 or 18 years old)

So  I apologize if it ever comes across as if I am  glamorizing my life or anything that may cause envy or jealousy. I felt the need to say that because our church community recently did public personal confession and I felt like I should address this after I heard a lot of girls talking about marriage idol-ness. We did this as a way of turning to the Lord, and committing ourselves to the intolerance of sins... even of little humanities that many times pass by. It was one of the most beautiful and powerful things I have ever witnessed... and afterwards we all took communion together... but anyways... my point is  I do not want to hinder a brother or sister in any way, and I pray that my posts are encouraging more than anything. 

I appreciate all my readers, and love to blog for my family & friends. & I can't wait until my Asher is born so we can introduce to you all on here :)

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  1. beautifully said. i've been thinking about this lately too :)

  2. it is hard, isn't it? Definitely more wonderful than I had imagined, but definitely messier than I thought. But all worth it.

    We are just about to celebrate our 3 year anniversary and are having are 2nd child in May. It's so busy and beautiful.

    Thanks for the great post today.

  3. Such a beautiful post... as a newly wed i am starting to realize that no marriage is not easy but i wouldn't trade it for the world

  4. I completely agree! I've seen both sides: girls who always complain about their husbands and others who seem overly perfect. Marriage is hard, but extremely rewarding at the same time. I could get on my soap box here, but I will refrain.

    Thanks for this. Thanks for being REAL. I pray that more of us will be this way and be honest about relationships...especially marriage!

  5. AMEN! Thank you for addressing this, I was literally just about to post a blog about this!

    I am married to one of the most loving, beautiful, faithful men I know. And, we have a great marriage! Bu, marriage does not complete your heart, and it will not be wonderful, blissful happiness every day. In fact, most days are work. But that's the beauty of marriage, looking back and seeing how you synced your two different lives together.

    Jesus is the only thing that will make your heart complete. And, even that relationship (the perfect man), is work!

    Love this post! Go girl.

  6. Great post! I'm one of those single girls who sometimes puts marriage as an idol (I've been realizing that a lot lately). But your blog has never been anything but encouraging to me! :)

    I know that even though I think I'm ready to meet Mr. Right and get married, I'm honestly not prepared (in so many ways). I'm reading through Debi Pearl's "Preparing to Be a Help Meet" again, and yesterday I read a statement that really spoke to me: If you're not content being single, you won't be content being married. Ouch. So my goal for this year is contentment.


  7. I am single and find your blog so encouraging because I was raised in a family with a very broken marriage. It is so beautiful to read about marriages that are so God breathed and know that not all marriages are going to be like my parents'.

  8. Wonderful post!! I love your honesty, everything you said is SO TRUE!

  9. This Blessed me so much Elisa :)

  10. This is such a great perspective. Thank you for sharing your heart. I feel like I need to post on this topic as well. It's so easy to blog only about the wonderfulness of marriage, but that could easily lead to idolization of the relationship.

    I look forward to visiting your blog again soon!


  11. We've been talking a lot about marriage at church lately. Which has been such a blessing, especially since I'm about to enter into that season of my life.
    My pastor said something along the lines of: Marriage doesn't complete you, your problems don't all go away, if there was sin in your life it will still be there when you get married. The problems don't all go away, in fact you get two imperfect people so if anything you have more problems but the blessing is you get to go through life together.
    It is a redeeming relationship. Sometimes married couples make their marriage an idol and their spouse can't give them what you need, only God can give you what you need.

    It has stuck with me the past couple days and thought I'd add my two cents. ;)

    loved this post and so glad you shared what was on your heart.
    Hope you enjoy TEXAS!

  12. Thanks for this post, it's so cool how God can reach others through complete strangers :)

  13. I love that you wrote this! Some times I do come to blogs and I feel like they all have perfect lives and perfect relationships and then I think I might be doing something wrong. But I know we all love to blog about the good so it may seem we all lead perfect lives when in reality we are all dealing with the same trials and tribulations.

    I love coming here and reading your posts they are always so encouraging!

  14. OH so hard.
    But oh so worth it.

    Our dear friend and my husbands old youth pastor told us something right before we were married, and I remember it still.

    He said that no matter how much you love eachother, it is still a conscious choice to wake up every day and choose to love them and to show them love. That some days it will be easy, and others, not so much. That it will always be worth it, and as it is a promise we make to God, a duty of ours.

    Its hard some days to remember to show him love..(for instance, if I am angry at him)
    Marrage is hard, but there is nothing to huge for God to fix, and nothing too little either.

    That being said, I don't know how you could make a marriage without God in it thrive, since He is such a huge part of ours.

  15. Thank you for being so encouraging. I can apprichiate this post, as well are your sencerity.

    You have probably heard this song, but as I was reading you post, I was reminded of it; Dancing in the Minefeilds by Andrew Peterson.

    "It was harder than we dreamed, but I beleive that's what the promise is for."

  16. I really appreciated this post. It is so true. Thanks for your honesty.

  17. Thank you. It is easy to make marriage an idol in your heart or think that it will fulfill you and make you complete. We are already complete creations in jesus christ. I love my bf and hope one day to be his bride. But I will always be Christ's bride, first and foremost. Thank you for reminding me not to love other things, even the idea of marriage, before God.

  18. i think you are an inspiration to those still waiting on their soul mates. and i know how tough marriage can be, but it's nice to see a couple that have their feet planted firmly in christ. that's how your marriage stays strong. i'm so excited for you, and this little babe you're about to bring into the world. what a lucky little babe, to have such amazing parents.

  19. It is so refreshing to hear more women talk this way! As a young Christian woman who is MADLY in love with her husband, I am always trying to tell my younger single friends to stop complaining and waiting around for a husband because this is a time they should cherish and grow as a single woman. Marriage is the best, but it is also the hardest thing I've ever done. And like you said, our husband and our marriage cannot complete us by any means. Only God fills that hole, so you might as well let him fill it as much as possible while your single because it will make marriage a little easier. And if we truly understand this and live it out, marriage is even sweeter. Well said my friend.

  20. Elisa, bless the LORD for your open heart to confess and seek truth in all you do. God has so blessed you and your marriage. Even through the trials, He is your strength. He receives all glory!
    Thank you so much for obediently writing this blog. God used it in many ways for me, as you know I am preparing for marriage myself. Bless you for your obedience to God.
    Grace and peace to you!

  21. Thank you for posting this. As I embark on the next chapter of my life, marriage, next month (EEEK!) this was an awesome thing for me to read. God Bless <3 and btw - can't wait to see pics of that beautiful baby!! A few short weeks!!!